The Sacredness of Giving and Receiving

By Megan Edge

Which side are you on? The side that says gifts can be a fun and meaningful way of expressing your appreciation for someone, or the side that sees the commercialism in giving and receiving gifts? This is a subject dear to my heart because I love giving gifts. I grew up in a household with a mother who loved Christmas. I remember sitting outside her bedroom door, listening to the sound of wrapping paper being cut, the tape being pulled, and ribbons being curled as she carefully hid each present in brightly colored paper.

She had a gift for gift-giving.

Her presents were always thoughtful, fun, practical, and humorous. One year, I received candied worms in my stocking—not gummy worms but actual candied earthworms! Other gifts included fun knee-high socks, challenging puzzles, games, and books. When my mother gave me a gift, she gave it from her heart.

As much as my mother gave from her heart, her giving was not without its pitfalls. There were strings attached. To receive from my mother, one had to be prepared to be very thankful. A thank-you and a hug was not enough. A string of questions followed the receiving of gifts:

“Do you really like it?
“Does it fit?”
“Is it the right color?”
“You do not like it, do you?”

For my mother, our acceptance of her gifts was also our acceptance of her, and around that, she had her demons.

Gift-giving and receiving involve a lot of emotion. Have you given a gift without any expectation of something in return? Acknowledgment? Something of equal value? An appropriate emotional response? The giving and receiving of gifts is a language in and of itself, and every culture has this language.

Gifts are given to show status and prestige; the more given, the higher the status. Gifts are given as tributes, bribes, and to show acquiescence. The value of a gift has its meaning in certain circles, as does the type of gift given from one person to another of different rank and social status. We give gifts in pair bonding and to show affection and love. We give gifts to acknowledge each other’s help and to celebrate birth, achievement, and transition.

If we stop gift-giving, we deprive ourselves of a crucial part of human communication.

What if you gave because you want to, not because you feel you must? Give gifts that speak to you of the other person, not the price tag. Make your gifts, offer to help someone as your gift to them, create a photo album of memories, re-gift something special.

The possibilities are as limitless as your imagination!

If you do not like the commercialism that can be such a part of the holidays, do not participate in it! Shop with intention. Spend money in locally owned shops and share the services of others, such as massage or retreats.

Give a little, receive a little, and watch how it all grows. Give away what you would most like to receive. Whatever you celebrate, enjoy each other, and Happy Holidays!